Women's and Men's Desires Are Different!

Our Mate Seeking Instincts

Most women seek a particular type man.

  • He has to make a good safe life for her and her children.
  • He is willing to stick around for the long run.

Learn more important details below:

What Women Look For In a Man

Kichen helper.Most women closely study how men accumulate power and resources, and how generous they are.

Before most women turn on their passion hormones, they want to know that the man is going to stick around and that he will share his resources with her and the offspring.

The desire for these characteristics is very strong in women's DNA from their female ancestors. The female ancestors who made bad choices in picking men who were poor and stingy didn't survive well for long! That is the way evolution works to stregthen the species.

Women's evolved skills have been fine-tuned through millions of generations for closely and accurately identifying how caring and generous each man was.

Those women in the past who were poor at identifying and selecting good male mates did not have many children who survived. Those women who were good at picking a caring and generous male mate did have many children who carried that beneficial DNA to today's women.

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Women's Clever Body Design For Mate Selection

A woman has a natural means of helping her select the man who sticks around. Women's ancestors lived in dangerous and difficult times. Women without a man for help and protection had poor chances for survival and raising children. So women evolved a body design that helped pick the man who would stick around and help her make babies. A woman is fertile only approximately 24 hours a month. The guy who is there knocking on her door regularly has the best chance of impregnating her. Incidentally, men's sperm are pretty smart: they will lay and wait for her egg for up to 72 hours!

What Women Always Needed

Women's DNA is loaded with habits and behaviors that served their ancestors well in those ice ages and numerous other difficult times. Some of these DNA influences are still evident today in women. For example, women are very much oriented to establishing and maintaining close relationships with other women. Throughout time, lots of female friends were helpful and often necessary for women in the group to survive.

When a female ancestor depended on a male for survival, her life was not so secure often. Men do not understand women's needs as well as other women do. Even today's women are naturally watching how well their male mate understands their female needs. Women are naturally very aware of the quality of their relationship with the male mate.

What Men Always Needed

Men have in their DNA a strong drive to have high status among others. Men naturally work and compete for a high status within their clan, tribe, or group. Men like to feel acknowledged, respected and appreciated. That is one reason men typically enjoy the role of being givers. So for a man, the ideal woman is one who can happily receive from him and look up to him. There is nothing sexier or more appealing to him than a happy woman who appreciates everything he has to offer - no matter how small his gifts are.

Value is in the eye of the beholder! An ancient ancestor may think the gift of a dead squirrel he killed is of great value to his female mate. However, a female mate with half dozen offspring may consider that dead squirrel as a very meager gift! Where is the wooly mammoth needed to feed her hungry group? Maybe for a man, giving gifts is a poor way to gain status from a woman!

© Copyright 2015 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding
All rights reserved worldwide.