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How and Why Men's and Women's Needs Are Different

What Women Look For In a Man

Kichen helper.Most women closely study how men accumulate power and resources, and how generous they are.

Before most women turn on their passion hormones, they want to know that the man is going to stick around and that he will share his resources with her and the offspring.

The desire for these characteristics is very strong in women's DNA from their female ancestors. The female ancestors who made bad choices in picking men who were poor and stingy didn't survive well for long! That is the way evolution works.



Women's evolved skills have been fine-tuned through millions of generations for closely and accurately identifying how caring and generous each man was. Those women in the past who were poor at identifying and selecting good male mates did not have many children who survived. Those women who were good at picking a caring and generous male mate did have many children who carried that beneficial DNA to today's women.

Women's Clever Body Design

A woman has a natural means of helping her select the man who sticks around. A woman is fertile only approximately 24 hours a month. The guy who is there knocking on her door regularly has the best chance of impregnating her. Incidentally, men's sperm are pretty smart: they will lay and wait for her egg for up to 72 hours!

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Men Are Different

One guy and two women.

Men's evolved DNA programming is for frequent sex with any willing healthy female, and with no commitments. That is what worked best for millions of men's male ancestors to pass on their DNA genes.



The men who were the strongest, smartest, and "horniest" lived another day and, if they were lucky, found a woman to have a quick roll in the grass. It undoubtedly was not the men's plan, but this mating process, done for the fun of it, did pass on their genes to many offsprings. For ancient men, a roll in the grass and a full belly were about as good as it could get in a day. (Sounds like a pretty good day even today!)

Male-Female Relationship Summary

Women's DNA programmed needs, which come from millions of successful female ancestors, make women seek a man with these characteristics:

  • He has many resources to make a good safe life for her and her children.
  • He is generous with his resources and shares them with his mate and children.
  • He places a high priority on her and her children's safety and desires.
  • He is strong, healthy, and agreeable to live with.
  • He is willing to stick around for the long run.

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© Copyright 2015 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding
All rights reserved worldwide.