Men's ancestors had to be aggressive in finding a mate. Competition for the best female was, and still is, always present when selecting the most desirable mate.
One of the primary male hormones that evolved to facilitate and ensure successful mating is testosterone. It makes males "horny", aggressive, and willing to fight for breeding rights.
Today's men still have much of the body chemistry from their ancestors for aggressive mating competition, but that is not necessary now. Most modern cultures have devised rules and rituals to facilitate mating today without direct aggression and violence.
In the late 1700's the recipe for European men to compete for a specific desired woman became less aggressive and the "romantic" period began. Romance and the associated customs were a much more sensitive way for a man to let a woman know he valued her and desired her as a mate. (Some say this "romance" was just a new way of getting a woman to do free labor around the home and provide free sex to men!)
In women's DNA is a preference for a strong mate who can protect her and her children. Most women unconsciously seek a male mate who is strong and aggressive in a controlled way. Women are naturally attracted to men who have proven to be successful in some way.
However, men still need to show their courage and aggression in ACCEPTABLE ways to impress women. The man who can do his acceptable aggressive tactics best has a better opportunity at getting accepted by the woman he desires.
Today, an acceptable aggressive act that gets a woman's attention in many cultures is simply walking up to her with an "opening line." In most western countries, this is an acceptable aggressive behavior for men in public places like a bar, club, or dance hall. This action is usually not acceptable for women to do. That is just one of the many "unwritten rules" in flirting and dating.
Three emotionally powerful things are going on while doing this simple aggressive act men are supposed to do bravely. Guys, here is some of what is going on that makes your knees weak and shaky:
The old brain (i.e. the limbic system) is what controls our bodily systems such as heart rate, perspiration, and breathing. As you approach a new woman who has the power to reject you, your limbic system will be running wild. But keep in mind that this approach and an opening line is an acceptable way today of peacefully demonstrating your male courage and aggression. Women like that!
In some social settings women like the aggressive behavior in men who can approach them with an "opening line" to meet and talk with them.
Women in most Western cultures are attracted to the guy who can approach them correctly.
There are fairly well-defined rules for how to do this successfully, and the risks are high for failing.
Therefore, it takes courage and aggressive nature for a man to approach a woman stranger with an opening line. Some training is priceless for men new to the process of approaching a woman stranger.
Researchers have identified a proven successful technique in common use, which is described next.
© Copyright 2015 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding
All rights reserved worldwide.