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Men's ancestors had to be aggressive in finding a mate. Competition for the best female was, and still is, always present when selecting the most desirable mate.
One of the primary male hormones that evolved to facilitate and ensure successful mating is testosterone. It makes males "horny", aggressive, and willing to fight for breeding rights.
Today's men still have much of the body chemistry from their ancestors for aggressive mating competition. However, that is not necessary now. Most modern cultures have devised rules and rituals to facilitate mating today without direct aggression and violence.
In the late 1700's the recipe for European men to compete for a specific desired woman became less aggressive and the "romantic" period began. Romance and the associated customs were a much more sensitive way for a man to let a woman know he valued her and desired her as a mate. (Some say this "romance" was just a new way of getting a woman to do free labor around the home and provide free sex to men!)
In women's DNA is a preference for a strong mate who can protect her and her children. Most women unconsciously seek a male mate who is strong and aggressive in a controlled way. Women are naturally attracted to men who have proven to be successful in some way.
However, men still need to show their courage and aggression in ACCEPTABLE ways to impress women. The man who can do his acceptable aggressive tactics best has a better chance of getting accepted by the woman he desires.
Today in many cultures, in the appropriate place, it is acceptable to say an "opening line" to a woman. This is a way to start talking with her. In most western countries, this is an acceptable aggressive behavior for men in public places like a bar, club, or dance. This action is usually not acceptable for women to do. That is just one of the many "unwritten rules" in flirting and dating.
Three emotionally powerful things are going on while doing this simple aggressive act that men are supposed to do bravely. Guys, here is some of what is going on that makes your knees weak and shaky:
The old brain (i.e. the limbic system) is what controls our bodily systems such as heart rate, perspiration, and breathing. As you approach a new woman who has the power to reject you, your limbic system will be running wild. But keep in mind that this approach and an opening line is an acceptable way today of peacefully demonstrating your male courage and aggression. Women like that!
© Copyright 2015 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding
All rights reserved worldwide.